Subject: The Word No Is A Complete Sentence

Welcome to Celebrating the Journey!
Monday, October 16, 2000
Issue #37

TABLE OF CONTENTS

1. Welcome Notes
2. The Word No Is A Complete Sentence
3. Coaching: Practice! Practice! Practice!
4. Quotes
5. Humor: Don’t You Just Hate It When…
6. Reading For The Journey
7. Opportunity for a Web Minded Reader – Still

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1. Welcome Notes

Many of you have written to congratulate me on reaching
my summer goal of 10 14ers and 10 nights out. Thank you
for your kind words and for mirroring how important it is
for all of us to set goals and reach for our dreams. I am
honored that so many of you have been inspired by my
setting and reaching that goal.

The importance of having dreams is wonderfully
addressed in a newsletter I received this morning, written
by my good friend Dr. Phil Humbert and titled “In
Your Dreams.” Phil writes of how empowered we are by
our dreams and, with humor and clarity, urges us to
“Never, ever stop dreaming!” I offer you the gift of his
newsletter. Simply click on the magic link:
http://www.philiphumbert.com/tips-archive/view.cgi/20001015/

Big dreams are supported by smaller goals. I am well into
creating my goals for the winter. One of them includes the
number of times I will walk up Buttermilk Mountain.
When I know what that number is, I’ll share it with you.
You can once again follow me in the journey to my goals
as you celebrate the journey to your own.

What are your goals for the winter? Share them, say
them out loud, write them down. They become more real
and therefore more attainable.

I want to thank my co-worker Stephanie Perrin for
introducing me to the idea that “The word No is a
complete sentence.” A marvelous take on an important
concept!

A warm welcome to all our new subscribers! My goal for
Celebrating The Journey is to provide you with tools that
inspire you to fully live your life and celebrate the journey
as you go. I welcome your input on how I can better do
that or how I’m doing it now. Please e-mail your thoughts
to me at mailto:CTJ@tothesummit.com.

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2. The Word No Is A Complete Sentence

The inability to say No is one of the biggest obstacles we
have to living the life we really want.

When was the last time you said Yes when you really
wanted to say No? Was it today? Yesterday? Just a few
minutes ago? When was the last time you…

Felt overwhelmed, with too much on your plate and
said, “Sure, I’ll do it,” anyway?
Went to lunch with someone you didn’t really want
to be with?
Agreed to go camping with your significant other
even though you hate sleeping on the ground?
Put up with someone speaking to you in an abusive
manner?
Answered “Fine,” when someone asked “How are
you?” when you didn’t feel fine at all?

Why do we say Yes when we’re thinking No? Here
are some answers my coaching clients have given to that
question:

Because my mother always said Yes.
Because my father always said Yes.
Because I don’t want to disappoint anyone.
Because I’ll be fired if I don’t.
Because my spouse/friends/children expect it.
Because I like being needed.
Because I want to be liked.
Because I don’t want to rock the boat.
Because I don’t know how to say No.
Because it’s easier to just say yes.
Because I’m supposed to.

When asked what price they pay for saying Yes when they
want to say No my clients have responded:

I give up my dreams.
I live in perpetual overwhelm.
I lose my own voice.
I don’t get enough sleep.
There is always too much to do and never enough
time.
I become a human doing rather than a human being.
I forget that I’m allowed to choose.
There is no time to be with myself and my loved
ones.
I lose myself.

We each have the permission and the right to choose
what we will and won’t do. This is a novel concept for
many people, and like anything new, it may not come
easily in the beginning. It takes practice.

Until you can say No, you can’t really choose to say Yes.
By toning our No muscles, we reclaim the ability to select
what fills our lives, who we spend time with, where we
go and how we live.

The word Yes too often lacks originality. Many of us say
Yes to what others want, instead of Yes to our own dreams.
Being able to say No allows us to say Yes to our own path,
our own dreams and having the life we REALLY want.

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3. Coaching: Practice! Practice! Practice!

Ask yourself the two questions given above:

Why do I say Yes when what I really want to say is
No?
What price do I pay for saying Yes when I really want
to say No?

During the next week, be aware of your tendency to say
Yes when your insides are whispering – or yelling – No!

Once each day, say No when you think you “should” say
yes.

Say No to the co-worker who asks you to join him for
dinner and you really want to take a walk with your dog.
Say No to your child who wants you to make a special
trip to the grocery store just so he can have his favorite
dessert.
Say, “No, not this time,” to the youngster selling
candy bars to raise money for his scout troop.
Say, “No, I can’t talk right now. I’ll call you back
later,” to the friend who calls in the middle of dinner.
Say No to chairing the fundraiser.
Say No to the extra project at work when you’re
already working too much overtime.
Say No when your teenager asks if he can stay out
past curfew.
Say, “No, you can’t play your music that loud,” to the
neighbors whose bass is vibrating your house.

It will feel strange in the beginning. You may feel selfish
or self-centered, stingy or fearful, inconsiderate or
uncaring. That’s Okay. The people to whom you say No
may not like it, especially if they are used to you saying
Yes. That’s Okay, too.

Talk about the process of saying No with your coach or
someone who truly supports you in creating the life you
REALLY want. Say No to doing this exercise alone! As you
continue to practice saying No, you will begin to
experience the freedom the word gives you, the freedom
to be who you really are.

At the end of each day, write down how you said No. Just a
simple statement works great. At the end of the week,
read your list and celebrate the ways in which you
reclaimed your life this week.

Saying No is a fantastic way to Celebrate The Journey of
your life. I’d love to hear the new ways in which you are
saying No. Willing to share them with us? Send me your
No stories at mailto:NO@tothesummit.com.

Extra Credit

As you practice saying No this week, think about what
the true Yes’s in your life are. What are the top priorities in
your life? What matters the most to you? What makes your
day a good day? Make a list of the top 5 Yes’s in your life.

Saying No creates time and space for discovering and
living our true Yes’s.

More to come about the positive Yes in next week’s CTJ!

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4. Quotes

Saying yes and no clearly builds confidence and rids us of
the misconception that we are powerless.
Marsha Sinetar

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where
there is no path and leave a trail.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

There is no greater privilege in life than being yourself.
Joseph Campbell

It’s so hard when I have to,
And so easy when I want to.
Sondra Anice Barnes

You don’t have to buy from anyone. You don’t have to
work at any particular job. You don’t have to participate
in any given relationship. You can choose.
Harry Browne

Once in a while it really hits people that they don’t have
to experience the world in the way they have been told to.
Alan Keightley

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5. Humor: Don’t You Just Hate It When…

The minor frustrations of life are far less frustrating when
we can laugh about them! Have a good giggle about these
everyday occurrences.

Don’t You Just Hate It When…

You have to try on a pair of sunglasses with that stupid
little plastic thing in the middle of them.

The person behind you in the supermarket runs his cart
into the back of your ankle.

The elevator stops on every floor and nobody gets on or
off.

You open a can of soup and the lid falls in.

Things never fit back in the box the way they came.

Three hours and three meetings after lunch you look in
the mirror and discover a piece of parsley stuck to your
front tooth.

You slice your tongue licking an envelope.

Your tire gauge lets out half the air while you’re trying to
get a reading.

You wash a garment with a tissue in the pocket, and your
entire laundry comes out covered with lint.

You set the alarm on your digital clock for 7 p.m. instead of
7 a.m.

You rub on hand cream and can’t turn the bathroom
doorknob to get out.

Your glasses slide down your nose when you perspire.

You can’t look up the correct spelling of a word in the
dictionary because you don’t know how to spell it.

You had that pen in your hand only a second ago and now
you can’t find it.

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6. Reading For The Journey

Take Time for Your Life: A Personal Coach’s 7-Step
Program for Creating the Life You Want by Cheryl
Richardson.

Cheryl has a passion for living well, for enjoying life and
having it ALL, right now! She shares that passion in this
book. Cheryl’s book is packed with wonderfully useful
exercises, checklists, practical tips, client success stories,
personal anecdotes and resources. Her words will
challenge you and make you laugh.

The section on Saying No Unless It’s An Absolute Yes is
fabulous. The book shows you how to identify and
eliminate the things in your life that are draining you and
replace them with the things that fuel you. Cheryl gives
us permission to put ourselves at the top of our list and, by
doing so, create more enthusiasm and energy in all areas
of our lives. Take time for your life — and begin living the
life you REALLY want.

Cheryl’s book is available for only $16.10 by clicking here:
http://amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0767902068/tothesummit.

The New Coach’s Office: Make Your Office Work For You
by Meg Bentley.

Meg is a Professional Organizer and a Coach. This book is
filled with wonderful tips and checklists, diagrams and
questions, wisdom and success stories that will help you
organize your office and keep it that way, whether you are a
new coach or a seasoned coach or not a coach at all.

Meg says, “…an inefficient office acts like a tether to your
flight…” This book gives you what you need to set yourself
free. Contact the author today at
mailto:meg@organizedcoach.com to order your copy and
begin the journey to creating the office you really want.

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7. Opportunity for a Web Minded Reader

I’m in conversation with a reader who is interested in this
opportunity, and I still want to put it out there for anyone
else who might be interested.

Wishing you could work with a Life Coach and are a little
short on funds? Here’s a great opportunity for you!

My life is wonderfully full these days, in ways I could not
have imagined a year ago. It is necessary to prioritize at a
whole new level, and one of the pieces that has moved
down the priority list is a revamp of my website. I have a
new template, a design I love, and no time to implement
it.

I am looking for someone with some Website
maintenance experience who can assist me in
implementing the new template, new language, and a
new look on my Website.

Are you interested in having a partner in creating the life
you REALLY want? Do you have some expertise with
website maintenance, a bit of knowledge about HTML and
experience with WYSIWYG software (I use Claris Home
Page)? Call me at 1-888-704-9336 or e-mail
mailto:website@tothesummit.com. Let’s connect and see
how our needs complement one another.

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Give yourself the gift of saying No this week.

Namaste, Margo

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My purpose in publishing Celebrating the Journey is to
provide you with resources, motivation, inspiration and
energy for YOUR journey to create success and freedom
in all areas of your life. CTJ will use stories from my life
and others, coaching tips and resources, quotes and
humor to deliver a learning experience that can enhance
your life. I am always looking for comments, ideas and
ways to improve CTJ. I welcome your e-mails at
mailto:margo@tothesummit.com.

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Copyright © 2000, all rights reserved, by Margo
Chisholm

I invite you to share Celebrating the Journey with your
mailing list, friends, and associates. We ask only that the
entire e-mail with copyright and credits be included. The
author of this article is Margo Chisholm. You may contact
her at (970) 704-9336 or at mailto:margo@tothesummit.com.

—
“At every moment of our life we have an
opportunity to choose joy.”
Henri J. M. Nouwen

Margo Chisholm
Coach, Speaker, Author, Therapist
Partnering you in having success,
freedom and joy in all areas of your life
970-704-9336 fax 970-704-9346
margo@tothesummit.com

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