Subject: No Wrong Decisions

Welcome to Celebrating the Journey!
Monday, September 11, 2000
Issue #33

TABLE OF CONTENTS

1. Welcome Notes and Announcement
2. There Are No Wrong Decisions
3. Coaching: Change Your Message
4. Quotes
5. Humorous Wisdom: Noah’s Ark
6. Resources For The Journey
7. Shameless Marketing

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1. Welcome Notes

Welcome to all our new subscribers. And a heartfelt thank
you to all who share Celebrating The Journey with
friends, family and co-workers. I have 2 requests this
week.

I ask that you forward this issue of CTJ to 5 people who
impact your life in some way. Perhaps your sister. Or the
librarian who always lets you know when your favorite
author has a new book. Or the administrator of your
children’s school district. Or the son or daughter who is
starting their freshman year at college. Who do you know
who can benefit from celebrating their own journey?

The second request is to let me know how CTJ has
impacted your life. Has it brought tears or laughter to your
heart? Has the coaching helped you have more of what
you want in your life? What is your favorite part?
Thanks, in advance, for your feedback which you can send
to mailto:CTJ@tothesummit.com.

Announcement

No, it isn’t Thursday, and yes this is Celebrating The
Journey. On June 1 I moved the publication of CTJ from
Monday to Thursday for the summer. The summer is
over, the kids are back in school, climbing season is
coming to an end. So CTJ will once again appear in your
email boxes at the beginning of the week. I hope it will
brighten your Monday and ease the transition from
weekend to week. Enjoy!

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2. There Are No Wrong Decisions

Last Saturday I made a “wrong” decision. Actually, I made
two “wrong” decisions.

I had intended to get up early on Saturday and climb Mt.
Elbert, completing my goal of 10 14ers. The weather on
Friday was stormy, and the weather report for Saturday
quite “iffy.” I had been up very early every morning
during the week, and with the odds against my being able
to climb, I decided to sleep in Saturday morning. When I
arose at 7:30, it was clear and beautiful, a gorgeous fall
morning. It would have been a perfect morning to begin a
climb. The decision to sleep in was a “wrong” one.

I am an hour and a half away from the trailhead for Mt.
Elbert, and all week, the clouds had piled up by early
afternoon, with rain and lightning not far behind. If I had
begun the climb at 7, there would have been no problem.
Now, however, it would be at least 9:30 before I reached
the trailhead. I decided that despite the clear skies, the
odds were very much against my being able to complete
the climb before the weather caved in. I decided not to go.

At 3 o’clock, the weather was still wonderful. It was a
perfect climbing day. The decision to not go was a “wrong” one.

I had made 2 “wrong” decisions. Or had I?

The dictionary has a number of definitions for the
adjective “wrong”, ranging from “deviating from morals”
to “not correct in fact.” Roget’s Thesaurus lists synonyms
like: bad, evil, immoral, sinful, wicked, scandalous,
reprehensible, guilty, perverse, perverted. Only as the last
word of 40 words does it say “inaccurate”.

In and of itself, the word “wrong” is innocuous. Yet, we
almost invariably load it with a moral judgment that
makes the thought or decision or act we are describing as
“wrong” something more than it is. Something bigger and
badder that somehow affects our value as people rather
than merely being an idea or choice or conduct.

My decisions to not go climb did not get me the goal I had
set of climbing Mt. Elbert. That is true. However, neither
did they make me bad or stupid or lazy. I had a delightful,
productive day and didn’t have to feel guilty about the
choices I had made. If I had labeled them “wrong”, much
of the day would have been spent feeling guilty or beating
myself up. Because I didn’t, the day simply looked
differently than I had thought it would.

How often have you heard a parent say to a child who has
done something “wrong”, “Bad girl!” or “Bad boy!” The
clear message is that there is something bad about who the
child is because they did something “wrong.” Making a
mistake makes you bad. Not knowing how to do
something makes you bad. Not being perfect makes you
bad.

I believe we give that message, sometimes blatantly and
sometimes subtly whenever we use the word “wrong”.

And conversely, when we use the word “right,” more
often than not we are giving the message that doing
something “right” makes a person somehow a “good”
person.

But, you may well say, murder is wrong. A murderer is a
bad person. I do not condone murder in any way, shape or
form, and at the same time, we don’t know that a
murderer is a bad person.

My point is that in using the words “right” and “wrong”
and “good” and “bad” we, at some level, lump together a
child spilling his milk with a murderer.

But that’s not what I mean, you say. Yet that is what
happens. And although it may be unintended, we do
irreparable damage to people, especially children, when
we judge them in this manner

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3. Coaching: Change Your Message

For the next week, be aware of how often you use the
words:

Wrong
Right
Bad
Good

When you hear yourself say one of these words, ask what
it is you really mean. What word or phrase can you use
instead that does not contain an inherent judgment?

The words “inappropriate” and “appropriate” are my own
favorites. They are accurately descriptive, and imply no
judgment. “It’s not OK for you to…” is a viable
replacement. It sets a boundary without judging.

Learning how to communicate with others in a way that
does not judge them – or yourself – will change your life —
and theirs.

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4. Quotes:

A great many people think they are thinking when they
are merely rearranging their prejudices.
Unknown

Confidence, like art, never comes from having all the
answers; it comes from being open to all the questions.
Diogenes Laertius

I like my friend for what is in her heart, not for the way
she does things.
Sandra K. Lamberson

Real friends are those who, when you’ve made a fool of
yourself, don’t feel that you’ve done a permanent job.
Unknown

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5. Humorous Wisdom: Noah’s Ark

All I really need to know I learned from Noah’s Ark

1. Don’t miss the boat.

2. Don’t forget that we’re all in the same boat.

3. Plan ahead. It wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark.

4. Stay fit. When you’re 600 years old, someone might
ask you to do something REALLY big.

5. Don’t listen to critics, just get on with what has to be
done.

6. Build your future on high ground.

7. For safety’s sake, travel in pairs.

8. Two heads are better than one.

9. Speed isn’t always an advantage; the snails were on
board with the cheetahs.

10. When you’re stressed, float awhile.

11. Remember that the ark was built by amateurs, and the
Titanic was built by professionals.

12. Remember that woodpeckers inside are a larger threat
than the storm outside.

13. No matter what the storm, when you’re with God
[Spirit, Buddha, Mohammed, Universe, Jehovah, Higher
Power], there’s a rainbow waiting.

This comes from the Usual Suspects E-zine from Father
Pat at http://stbrons.com or http://frpat.com.

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6. Reading For The Journey

Life Makeovers: 52 Practical and Inspiring Ways to
Improve Your Life One Week at a Time by Cheryl
Richardson.

If you want to have a life you can truly celebrate, read this
book ! It becomes officially available tomorrow,
September 12.

The “Life Makeover” program is a powerful year-long
program for change. It is designed to support you in
changing your life one week at a time. Each chapter
consists of a topic of the week and contains a Take Action
Challenge and a Resources section to support you in
taking action quickly and easily.

Be prepared for your life to unfold in wonderful ways. As
you clean up the clutter, reconnect with your inner
wisdom, strengthen your character, and take on the
challenges of high-quality living, you’ll find that the lost
parts of yourself start to come together to form the life you
really want!

This isn’t a book you read to get fixed. It’s a powerful
guide for YOU to create a life you love and can celebrate.
Order it for only $17.56 by clicking here:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0767906632/tothesummit.

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff, And It’s All Small Stuff by
Richard Carlson.

This first in the series is a marvelous blend of old ideas
and new ideas on coping with all the speed and
information overload of the 21st century. Amazon.com
says of this book, “It’s an owner’s manual of the heart,
and if you follow the directions, you will be a happier,
more harmonious person.” I fully agree.

This book is light-hearted and serious, wise and funny,
and packed with goodies that will make you smile and
change your life all in the same sentence.

Take some of the stress out of your life by ordering this
book for only $11.50 at
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0786881852/tothesummit

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7. Shameless Marketing

I have space for 3 new clients who are committed to
having more success, freedom and joy in their lives. Has
the year 2000 been all you wanted it to be? It still can be!
To schedule a free demonstration of coaching or to find
out more about Life Coaching in general and how I coach
in particular, call me at 1-888-704-9336.

My coaching rates are increasing to $300 a month for 4 half
hour sessions on October 1. However, anyone mentioning
Celebrating The Journey will be gifted with the previous
rate of $250 until the end of the year 2000. Now is the time
to create the life you REALLY want!

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Give yourself the gift of non-judgment this week.

Namaste, Margo

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If you received this copy of Celebrating The Journey from
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My purpose in publishing Celebrating the Journey is to
provide you with resources, motivation, inspiration and
energy for YOUR journey to creating success and freedom
in all areas of your life. CTJ will use stories from my life
and others’, coaching tips and resources, quotes and
humor to deliver a learning experience that can enhance
your life. I am always looking for comments, ideas and
ways to improve CTJ. I welcome your emails at
mailto:margo@tothesummit.com.

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Copyright © 2000, all rights reserved, by Margo
Chisholm

I invite you to share Celebrating the Journey with your
Mailing List, Friends, and Associates. We ask only that the
entire email with Copyright and Credits be included. The
author of this article is Margo Chisholm. You may contact
her at (970)704-9336 or at
mailto:margo@tothesummit.com.

—
“At every moment of our life we have an
opportunity to choose joy.”
Henri J. M. Nouwen

Margo Chisholm
Coach, Speaker, Author, Therapist
Partnering you in having success,
freedom and joy in all areas of your life
970-704-9336 fax 970-704-9346
margo@tothesummit.com

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