Subject: Tip Three: Live YOUR Dreams
Welcome to Celebrating the Journey!
Wednesday, August 15, 2001
TABLE OF CONTENTS
1. Welcome Notes
2. Tip Three: Live YOUR Dreams
3. Coaching: Drop the Supposed To’s
5. Reading for the Journey
6. Humor: Why Men Are Not Secretaries
1. Welcome Notes
I sent this yesterday, Wednesday, and it appears that it did not go out.
If you are receiving this for the second time, I apologize. If it’s a
late, I also apologize! I’m on vacation and working from a remote
site which is always a challenge. EnJoy!
Welcome to all our new subscribers and greetings to you
who join us regularly on Wednesdays to celebrate this
journey called life. I am on vacation at the Red Mountain Spa
in St. George, Utah this week and having the time of my life.
My niece is with me, and we are treating ourSelves
astoundingly well and laughing out loud lots. Very good for
the heart and soul as well as the body!
I went on a hike this morning with a great group of folks
into the red sandstone slickrock formations surrounding the
spa. In addition to hiking a bunch of miles and scrambling
up some sandstone peaks, we walked down into a
wonderful steep-sided sandstone bowl and then climbed out
one of its steeper sides. I watched some of the others in the
group struggle with what was to them a new environment
and a new level of challenge, cheering them on as they
scrambled up and celebrating the sense of accomplishment I
saw on their faces. I was one of the last to go and my
climbing background made it an easy scramble for me,
despite my being the oldest in the group.
At the top of the short climb, I realized so clearly that I was,
at that moment, strongly living my own dream. Not every
one wants to be comfortable scrambling around on rock in
the desert or snow in the mountains. Especially not at age
53! And being fit enough and creating the opportunity to
play in this way is one of the great passions of my life. The
joy, satisfaction and freedom I felt at that moment is the
essence of what is available to us when we live our own
It is a great treat to be on vacation. I’m out of my office until
September 4 and will be checking e-mail on a regular basis.
So please feel free to respond to this issue of CTJ. Let me
know what you what you like and what you don’t; what
you’d like to see more of and what less. And above all,
enJoy your week!
If you missed the CTJ which gave the Top Ten Tips for
Having the Life You REALLY Want which is the
foundation for this issue and the next seven, you can find
it on my website at
For a formatted, color, hard copy version of the Top Ten
Tips e-mail your snail mail address (where you get your
regular mail) to mailto:TopTenTips@tothesummit.com.
Please note that I’m out of my office until September 4,
and I’ll mail your copy then.
2. Tip Three: Live YOUR Dream
Many clients who show up in my coaching practice are folks
in their middle years who are “all of a sudden” dissatisfied in
some way with the direction their lives have taken;
unfulfilled with their 20-year career — which they thought
they loved; or needing to get away from it all — forever; or
being attracted to people other than their spouses — and
wanting to act on that attraction. In short there is something
not “right” with their world.
Our culture calls it midlife crisis. I call it “supposed to crisis”.
It’s the time when our hearts are no longer willing to go
along with someone else’s vision of what are lives are
supposed to be; of what we’re supposed to do; of who we’re
supposed to be with; of how we’re supposed to act.
The dictionary definition of the word supposed is: presumed
or assumed to be true, real or genuine. When we take on
someone else’s vision for our lives, either in total or in part,
it feels real – for a while. Until the discontentment becomes
too big to be ignored.
When a strong sense of dissatisfaction with our lives careens
to the surface of our brains, we have to do something. That
something can be an action which leads us to learning what
is really happening inside us and then taking the actions to
change it. Or it can be something that digs a deep hole in
which we can hide from the reality of what we are feeling.
Too often we choose that hole by running away in some
fashion. We drink too much or dump our spouse for
someone younger or run away to an ashram in India. Or we
get cancer or have a stroke or a heart attack. Whether these
choices happen at a somewhat conscious level or as our
body’s response to a no-longer-tolerable situation, the
results can be catastrophic.
Preventive medicine is the best of all cures for the supposed
to crisis. When we ask ourselves on a daily basis what we
really want in our lives, based on our core values, and
answer with the truth as best we know it, there doesn’t have
to be a crisis at all.
Ask yourself, each and every day, “Is what I’m doing today
aligned with my values? Are the dreams and goals I have
for my life based on those values? Is today mine or is it
someone else’s supposed to?
The answers provide the pathway for avoiding the
supposed to crisis and for living the life of which you dream.
In your life right now, today, what are you doing because
you’re supposed to? What are you NOT doing because
you’re NOT supposed to? Fill in the blanks:
I want to ________________ but I’m supposed to
Who gave you that message? Where did it come from?
Whose “want” has become your “supposed to”?
What are you going to do about it?
Knowing what the supposed to’s are in your life does not
mean you leave your family, quit your job, give away your
house or make any immediate radical decisions. Shifting
your life from supposed to’s to wants is a process. It
happens in steps: some tiny, some medium sized, and some
large. It supports the process to start with the small steps.
Answering the above questions is a great place to begin.
You may already be clear about the answers and what your
first step is. You may only know you want to be doing
something different without having any idea what that
something is. Wherever you are on the continuum, this kind
of life transition work is difficult to do alone. I suggest you
involve a mentor, a Life Coach, a trusted advisor in the
process, someone who is not in any way invested in your
choices. As much as you love your spouse or best friend,
(s)he isn’t your best choice!
When you realize that you are living a supposed to
somewhere in your life rather than your own dream, you
open the door to creating the life you REALLY want. Now
it’s time to take action.
What step will you take today to transform the supposed
to’s in your life into your own dreams and goals and
There are no guarantees, so I’m going to live the best I can
today. I don’t want to wake up ten years down the road
regretting the things I didn’t do.
There are many ways of breaking a heart. Stories were full
of hearts being broken by love, but what really broke a
heart was taking away it’s dream–whatever that dream
Pearl S. Buck
The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.
I prefer to be a dreamer among the humblest, with visions
to be realized, than lord among those without dreams
You must go after your wish. As soon as you start
to pursue a dream, your life wakes up and everything
If I have learned anything in long years of
introspection, it is that life requires a price if you
want to be as fully alive as you can be. You need courage
to pursue the truth of your life and yourself.
Eda J. LeShan
5. Reading for the Journey
Falling Awake: Creating the LIfe of Your Dreams by Dave
The first chapter of Ellis’s book is entitled, “Life Can Be
Wonderful.” As you all know, I heartily agree. He then
invites the reader to use 12 major Success Strategies to
achieve the closing chapter, “Continue Creating the Life of
Your Dreams.” Each of the 12 Strategies is given a chapter of
its own, and each chapter is filled with wisdom, strategies,
tools, and exercises to clarify its theme and how it can
change our lives. Marianne Williamson calls this book, “…a
beautiful presentation of some wondrous thoughts about
the things that matter most.”
I have not completed this book, and I love what I’ve read up
to this point. I rarely recommend a book I haven’t read all
the way through. This one is a wonderful guide to “deep
intimacy, vibrant health, full celebration, daily ecstasy,” and
whatever else you want in your life. It gives you all the tools
you need to shift from negative to positive; depression to
joy; dissatisfaction to fun; fear to love. To find out more and
order the book click
To the Summit: A Woman’s Journey into the Mountains
to Find Her Soul by Margo Chisholm
This is the story of my journey toward my own impossible
dreams. I had some very big dreams, and some equally big
doubts and fears. My story is a clear example of the
miracles that happen when we take that first step, and
then the next, and then the next, in the direction of our
dreams. We ordinary people can do extraordinary things,
and it all happens one step at a time.
This book is out of print, and I have a few copies available
for sale for $23 including shipping and handling. E-mail
mailto:ToTheSummit@tothesummit.com for ordering
To The Summit is also available in German and
Norwegian for the same price.
6. Humor: Why Men Are Not Secretaries
This came to me from my great friend Mimi Stone. I hope
you gentlemen will have a sense of humor about this one!
You can thank Mimi for the good chuckle at
WHY MEN ARE NOT SECRETARIES
Husband’s note on refrigerator to his wife:
Someone from the Guyna College called. They said
Pabst beer is normal
Hiring a Life Coach is a great way be supported in taking
the steps that will lead you to your own dreams.
Margo has a few slots open for motivated clients who
want to shift from, “My life is good, but…” to “I have a
great life!” Visit our website at
https://www.tothesummit.com for additional resources
and tools. To schedule a consultation, send an e-mail to
Give yourself the gift of living YOUR OWN dreams this week.
If you received this copy of Celebrating the Journey from
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My purpose in publishing Celebrating the Journey is to
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energy for YOUR journey of creating success and freedom
in all areas of your life. CTJ will use stories from my life
and others, coaching tips and resources, quotes and
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Copyright © 2001, all rights reserved, by Margo
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“Challenge your most cherished assumptions.”
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