Subject: Esse Quam Videri

Welcome to Celebrating the Journey!
Thursday, August 3, 2000
Issue #32


1. Welcome Notes
2. Send Us Your Acronyms!
3. Esse Quam Videri
4. Coaching: Being vs. Seeming
5. Quotes: That I Would Be Good
6. Humor: I Want To Be A Kid Again
7. Reading For The Journey: Drop the Highliter
8. Opportunities For The Journey
1. Welcome Notes

Welcome to new and old subscribers alike. We continue
to grow, even in these dog days of August. It is very hot
and very dry here in the west, and the sky outside my
office window is hazy with smoke from a number of
wildfires burning throughout this part of the country.
Time to switch the cold and wet weather in the east with
our hot dry temperatures.

I am following my heart’s dream of going out on a Vision
Fast and will be gone from my office from August 8 – 28. I
am creating 3 CTJ’s, of a slightly different format, to be
published during that time, and I am trusting the wonders
of cyber electronics to ensure that happens. If one or more
issue don’t get to you, don’t panic. I haven’t fallen off the
face of the planet. I am out in the wilderness connecting
with my dreams and Life Purpose at an even deeper level.

I climbed a high ridge connecting 4 14ers last Saturday so
the count is now 9 (although one is considered
“unofficial”) and 6. I have 2 planned for this Saturday if
the weather holds, and will be spending 10 nights out
during the vision Fast process. The completion of my
goal is rapidly approaching!

How are you doing on your summer goals? I’d love to
read your completion stories and include them in an
upcoming CTJ. Send your goal stories to

2. Send Us Your Acronyms!

Fear. A word and feeling we all know.

There are probably more acronyms for the word “fear”
than for any other in the American language. I am
gathering them for a forthcoming issue of Celebrating The
Journey and ask that you email me your favorite ones.

(What’s an acronym? It’s a word made from the first
letters of a term or phrase.)

Mine are:

False Evidence Appearing Real
Forget Everything And Run (the polite form)
F*** Everything And Run (the unpolite form)

What are yours?

Send ones you’ve heard or make them up. My intention
is to create a whole issue around the subject of fear, with a
light-hearted feel to it. Be a part of that issue!

I will include name and contact information unless
requested not to. Here’s a great opportunity to share what
fear feels like for you and to let people know how to
contact you.

Send us your acronyms!! just email:
3. Esse Quam Videri

Two weeks ago, on the top of a 14er named Antero, I ran
into a woman who had graduated from the same high
school as I did. Now this is a teeny little private school in
Maryland, so the odds of both of us being on the top of a
14er in Colorado at the same time were minuscule.

As I was driving home from the peak, with a smile on my
face at the synchronicity of our meeting, the school’s
motto popped into my head:

ESSE QUAM VIDERI: To Be Rather Than To Seem

The word “seem” is a synonym for the word “appear. “We
live in a world where appearances are often how people
are judged, evaluated, put into slots. Our society
frequently cares less about who people are than about
where they live, how much they earn, what they do, and
how they look.

We are asked:
“Where do you live?” rather than “Do you love your
What do you do?” rather than “What makes you
“How much do you weigh?” rather than “What fulfills
“Where do you buy your clothes?” rather than “What
do you value?”

It is all too easy to create our lives with the focus on how
we appear and how others view us rather than on being
who we are.

I was very good at “seeming” for much of my life. I
“seemed” to be confident. I “seemed” to be a capable
businesswoman who fit in well in a corporate
environment. I “seemed” to be who I thought I was
supposed to be.

I was 40 years old before I realized that who I seemed to be,
tried to be, thought I was, was not at all who I was. I gave
myself the permission to be who I am rather than to create
an appearance that others would approve of.

Today I live a life I love. It is nontraditional and certainly
not what it was “expected” to be. And I celebrate that every

Today I am Margo instead of seeming to be who “they”
told me I was supposed to be at age 52.

Who are “they” anyway?

4. Coaching: Being vs. Seeming

What is the distinction between being and seeming?

Being is the truth; seeming is a lie
Being is who we are; seeming is something we do
Being is real; seeming is fake
Being is from the heart; seeming is from the head
Being is trustworthy; seeming is undependable
Being is; seeming acts
Being creates energy; seeming depletes it

When we tell a lie, we have to remember what we said
and to whom. When we live a lie, seeming rather than
being, the amount of energy needed to recreate that facade
every day, every minute, every second, leaves little energy
for simply living. We lose the ability to be who we are and
all too soon, we forget who that is.

The following story about a 4-year-old boy whose parents
had just come home from the hospital with his new baby
sister says it all.
The youngster asked if he could be alone with the baby.
“Of course you can hold the baby,” his mother told
“No, I need to alone with her,” the little boy stated.
The youngster had been excited about the arrival of his
new baby sister so his parents decided they would put the
baby in her bassinet and allow their son to be with her,
just the two of them. They would stand right outside the
door, just in case.
As soon as the parents had shut the door, the young
boy leaned towards his new baby sister and whispered,
“Tell me who I am. I’ve already forgotten.”

The implication that as soon as we are born, we begin
forgetting our true nature is a sad one. And yet it is the
nature of the world. We are taught right from the get go
that it is more important to seem than to be.

I request that you challenge that myth. Who are you,

Make a list of 5 things about yourself that are based on
how others perceive you rather than on who you are.

For each of the next 5 days, change one of those
things/behaviors/thoughts/feelings so that it reflects who
you are rather than how you appear.

What would you do if no one was watching?
Where would you go if no one knew?
What would you wear if no one saw?
What would you think if no one could read your
What makes you laugh out loud?
What would you say if no one judged you?

How is your life different when you live from who are are
rather than how you appear?

Being rather than seeming takes practice, focus and
courage. The reward for your willingness to do this work?
Your Self.

5. Quotes: That I Would Be Good

The following lyrics from Alanis Morissette were sent to
me by Carolyn Hansen in response to last week’s CTJ.
They speak clearly to the yearning we have to be loved
and accepted just as we are.

That I would be good even if I did nothing.
That I would be good even if I got the thumbs down.
That I would be good if I got and stayed sick.
That I would be good even if I gained ten pounds.

That I would be fine even if I went bankrupt.
That I would be good if I lost my hair and my youth.
That I would be great if I was no longer queen.
That I would be grand if I was not all knowing.

That I would be loved even when I numb myself.
That I would be good even when I am overwhelmed.
That I would be loved even when I was fuming.
That I would be good even if I was clingy.

That I would be good even if I lost sanity.
That I would be good whether with or without you.

6. Humor: I Want To Be A Kid Again

How often do YOU feel this way???

7. Reading For The Journey: Drop The Highliter

August is beach month. Go read a novel, something
lighthearted, something that doesn’t require a highliter or
underliner or notes in the margin. Or even most of your
brain. Read for entertainment and laughter and fun. Here
are some ideas:

Erma Bombeck
Dave Barry
Gary Larson
Dr. Seuss

Science Fiction
Robert Heinlein
Ray Bradbury

Julie Smith
Jonathan Kellerman
James Patterson

8. Opportunities For The Journey

Pete Sampras has a great serve. And it continues to get
even better because he works with a coach.

What part of your life is working great and can still
improve? Every dedicated athlete has a coach. Why not
have a coach for the most important game of all: the game
of life.

I am increasing my coaching fees for new clients
beginning October 1. I have several slots open at my
current fee starting in September. To schedule a
consultation, send an email before August 7 or after
August 26 to

Reclaim your Self by giving yourself the gift of being this

Namaste, Margo

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My purpose in publishing Celebrating the Journey is to
provide you with resources, motivation, inspiration and
energy for YOUR journey to creating success and freedom
in all areas of your life. CTJ will use stories from my life
and others’, coaching tips and resources, quotes and
humor to deliver a learning experience that can enhance
your life. I am always looking for comments, ideas and
ways to improve CTJ. I welcome your emails at

Copyright © 2000, all rights reserved, by Margo

I invite you to share Celebrating the Journey with your
Mailing List, Friends, and Associates. We ask only that the
entire email with Copyright and Credits be included. The
author of this article is Margo Chisholm. You may contact
her at (970)704-9336 or at

“At every moment of our life we have an
opportunity to choose joy.”
Henri J. M. Nouwen

Margo Chisholm
Coach, Speaker, Author, Therapist
Partnering you in having success,
freedom and joy in all areas of your life
970-704-9336 fax 970-704-9346


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