Subject: Tip One: Live from Your Values
Welcome to Celebrating the Journey!
Wednesday, July 25, 2001
Issue #62


1. Welcome Notes
2. Tip One, Part One: Live from Your Values
3. Coaching: Whose Values Are They, Anyway?
5. Celebrating Out Loud!
6. Reading for the Journey
7. Resources for the Journey
8. Humor: Top 50 Oxymorons

1. Welcome Notes

Welcome to 59 new subscribers this week! That’s a record
for us. Thank you to all who forward CTJ to friends and
colleagues. We love to spread the celebration. I have
added more past issues to the archives on the website so
you can send folks to
to sample past issues.

Life is quite simply wonderful here in the mountains of
Colorado. Nothing big, nothing spectacular, just one day
at a time filled with the small adventures and connections
and inspirations of daily life.

When I got sober 15 years ago, the last thing I wanted was
to feel serene. How boring! Today it is high on the list of
values and priorities for me. I wish you a day of bright

2. Tip One, Part One: Live From Your Values

As I was writing this issue of CTJ, it quickly became
obvious that to cover both parts of Tip One would make it
far too long. So today I am writing about living from your
values. Next week we’ll address following your dreams.

Did you miss the “Top Ten Tips for Having the Life You
REALLY Want” issue of CTJ? Find it on my website at

For a formatted, color, hard copy version of the Top Ten
Tips email your snail mail address (where you get your
regular mail) to

Live from Your Values

Values are that part of us that IS us. Values are what you
are naturally inclined, drawn or eager to do, without
efforting or even goal setting. For example, some people
are natural adventurers — they were at age 6 and at age 70
they are out there exploring the world. Pretty obvious that
adventure is a value for them. The person with the value
doesn’t have to make themselves go on an adventure —
they just do. Values may be genetically or culturally based
or a combination. In either case, they are very much
THERE and very much make up who we are, what we
want and how we live.

Too many people today set goals and make decisions based
on what they think they should believe, what their
parents valued, what their boss’s goals are, rather than on
what their core values are.

As children it is all too easy to take on the beliefs and
values of our parents. It’s a natural thing, and yet it too
often leads to a life of dissatisfaction, a sense of, “Is that all
there is?”, and a feeling of regret as we look back over our
lives. One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is
the invitation to discover what THEY value, to challenge
the beliefs of their parents and teachers rather than
accepting them without question.

Many of my coaching clients come to me because they are
in a time of transition, of questioning. They have a great
life and yet something is missing, something isn’t quite
right, they have the feeling that there is something more.
These thoughts and feelings are often a sign that we are
living our lives according to someone else’s values. It
then is time to examine what we believe our values are;
to identify which ones are really ours and which belong to
someone else; to release what isn’t ours and to truly live
from the ones that are.

I have heard many stories over the years about the
experience of achieving a big dream or goal, celebrating for
about 5 seconds, then looking around and asking, “OK,
now what? What’s next?” Does that sound familiar? Is
the achievement of a goal or the realization of a dream
just something to be checked off the list rather than a
source of satisfaction and completion? Then it’s time to
look at the values upon which your dreams and goals are

If our lives are oriented around values that are not ours,
the goals we set are someone else’s goals. The dreams we
have are someone else’s dreams. They do not really
belong to us. Even when we achieve them, there is a sense
of dissatisfaction, an inability to fully celebrate the process
and accomplishment.

When we recognize and release the values that really
belong to someone else, we make room for our own
beliefs to surface. When we identify our personal values,
we can create a life based on them: a life that is motivated
rather than driven; joyful rather than unbalanced;
satisfying rather than empty.

When we live a life founded on our truest values, we lay
a strong and stable foundation for discovering and living
our dreams.

3. Coaching: Whose Values Are They, Anyway?

The play, “Whose Life Is It Anyway?” addresses the
question of whether a quadriplegic has the choice to end
her life or the doctors have the right to keep her alive
against her will. At one point the quadriplegic asks the
title question, “Whose life is it, anyway?” The doctors are
stunned into silence.

Whose values are controlling your life? Yours? Or
someone else’s?

Make a list of what you belief to be your top 5 values *.
They are the answers to the following kinds of questions.

What matters the most to you?
What are naturally inclined toward?
What belief do you most fiercely defend?
What pulls you forward, without efforting?

Now imagine how your life would look and feel if each
choice, each goal, each relationship were based on these

Would you feel satisfied and fulfilled or frustrated and
somehow out of balance?
Would you welcome each day or simply exist in it?
At the end of your life, would you celebrate how you
lived it or have regrets?

If this vision of your life does not create a sense of
satisfaction, fulfillment and celebration, the values you
have chosen are not yours. They belong to someone else.

Give them back and choose again! Talk with someone you
trust about this process: a Coach or a mentor, a loved one
or pastor. The willingness to ask what is important to you
at a deeper level than you’ve asked the question before, is
a courageous step in the direction of creating the life your
REALLY want.

Orient your life around your True Values to create that
life as a true Journey of Celebration.

*(Not sure how to even begin to discover your True
Values or what they might be? For a list of examples, send
an email to


…if you are clear on your values, and you orient
your life around them, your chances of experiencing
fulfillment are enhanced to the extreme.
Thomas Leonard

Try not to become a man of success but rather try to
become a man of value.
Albert Einstein

Life’s up and downs provide windows of opportunity to
determine [your] values and goals. Think of using all
obstacles as stepping stones to build the life you want.
Marsha Sineta

Life challenges each of us to pursue our dreams, to stand
for our values, to speak our opinions, and to develop our
unique, individual character.
Phil Humbert, TIP’s 9/12/99
(to subscribe to Phil’s great TIP’s e-zine and find
more than 250 pages of free resources, visit

5. Celebrating Out Loud

The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more
there is in life to celebrate.
Oprah Winfrey

Terri celebrates her favorite aunt who died at the young

age of 58. Terri writes, “She remained a vital upbeat
woman, laughing to the end. Please celebrate with me, her
life and passage into a new life.” We do, indeed, Terri.
You can contact Terri at

July 19: Kate Higgins celebrates the 1st anniversary of the
death of her dear dog friend Maeve and the first birthday
of her new pooch, Little Dorritt. All you dog lovers may
share your love of our 4-legged friends with Kate at

July 21: Amy Maron celebrated her birthday and invited
me to ask all of you to celebrate with her. She is in a time
of transition and would love to have some birthday
support at

Know someone who’s celebrating a great occasion? Or a
small one? What better gift than to forward them a copy
of Celebrating the Journey with a celebratory wish in it.
Let’s spread the joy!

6. Reading for the Journey

Facing Codependence by Pia Mellody with Andrea Wells
Miller and J. Keith Miller.

Breaking Free: A Recovery Workbook for Facing
Codependence by Pia Mellody and Andrea Wells Miller.

One of the most common causes for not knowing what
our true values are is the belief that other people’s
feelings and lives are more important than ours. This is
one of the symptoms of codependence. As long as we hold
that belief, it is almost impossible to discover and honor
our own values.

These two books provide the information and a step-by-
step journal-keeping method for reclaiming your own
life. Do you believe that what others think is more
important than what you believe? If the answer is yes,
these books provide a terrific map for the journey back to
your true Self. Facing Codependence is available for
$12.80 at
Breaking Free, the companion workbook, for $14.40 at

7. Resources for the Journey

I continue to recommend the opportunity to be a lifetime
member in and for only

Thomas Leonard, founder of Coach University is the
genius, energy and creator of these programs, and there
simply is not a better resource anywhere for growing
yourself and learning how to be a healthy support for the
folks you love. Please take the time to take a look at all
that is included in this offer.

This is an unbeatable opportunity to have access to an
enormous wealth of information, checklists, e-zines,
programs, teleclasses, chat rooms, and the wisdom of a
fabulous coach. Find out what it’s all about at:

8. Humor: Top 50 Oxymorons

>From the Max Fractal Library at comes the
following list of the Top 50 Oxymorons, counting down
from 50 to 1. (Remember: I’m an Apple user!)

Act naturally
Found missing
Resident alien
Advanced BASIC
Genuine imitation
Airline food
Good grief
Same difference
Almost exactly
Government organization
Sanitary landfill
Alone together
Legally drunk
Silent scream
British fashion
Living dead
Small crowd
Business ethics
Soft rock
Butt head
Military intelligence
Software documentation
New York culture
New classic
Sweet sorrow
“Now, then…”
Synthetic natural gas
Christian scientists
Passive aggression
Taped live
Clearly misunderstood
Peace force
Extinct life
Temporary tax increase
Computer jock
Plastic glasses
Terribly pleased
Computer security
Political science
Tight slacks
Definite maybe
pretty ugly
Twelve-ounce pound cake
Diet ice cream
Rap music
Working vacation
Exact estimate
Religious tolerance

And the number one oxymoron is

Microsoft Works

Working with a coach is a great way to identify the values
that are truly yours and from them, create the life you
REALLY want. Margo has a few slots open for motivated
clients who want to create a successful life and have the
time to enjoy it. Visit our website at for additional resources
and tools. To schedule a consultation, send an email to

Give yourself the gift of your own true values this week.

Namaste, Margo

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My purpose in publishing Celebrating the Journey is to
provide you with resources, motivation, inspiration and
energy for YOUR journey of creating success and freedom
in all areas of your life. CTJ will use stories from my life
and others, coaching tips and resources, quotes and
humor to deliver a learning experience that can enhance
your life. I am always looking for comments, ideas and
ways to improve CTJ. I welcome your e-mails at

Copyright © 2001, all rights reserved, by Margo

I invite you to share Celebrating the Journey with your
mailing list, friends, and associates. We ask only that the
entire e-mail with copyright and credits be included. The
author of this article is Margo Chisholm. You may contact
her at (970) 704-9336 or at

“At every moment of our life we have an
opportunity to choose joy.”
Henri J. M. Nouwen

Margo Chisholm
Coach, Speaker, Author, Therapist
Partnering you in having success,
freedom and joy in all areas of your life
970-704-9336 fax 970-704-9346


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