Subject: Power of Community

Welcome to Celebrating the Journey!
Thursday, June 29, 2000
Issue #28


1. Welcome Notes
2. The Power of Community
3. Coaching: Design Your Own Community
5. Humor: Include Your Pets in Your Community
6. Resources: Websites That Celebrate Your Journey

1. Welcome Notes

Welcome to all who are new to CTJ, and thank you to all
who continue to spread the word through forwarding
Celebrating The Journey to their community. Our list has
grown to 907, and the “unsubscribes” are minimal. Thank
you for your loyalty and acknowledgments.

The energy of Mercury being in retrograde has bubbled
around my office this past week. I have had trouble with
my email all week and know that many have not reached
me. At this point I am receiving some and not all. If you
sent an email and haven’t received a response, please
resend it. If you received the message that I have blocked
your email, IT’S NOT TRUE! Simply a server problem
which I trust will soon be fixed. If you haven’t heard from
me within 3 days of sending an email, it’s a sure bet that I
didn’t receive it. I invite you to resend it or call me.

A good climbing friend of mine is visiting me, and we
will head out to backpack into Snowmass Lake Friday
afternoon and climb Snowmass Mountain on Saturday.
Steps toward my goal of “10 and 10” – 10 14ers and 10
nights sleeping out. How are you doing with your goals
for the summer? How can I support you in reaching
them? Let me know at

2. The Power of Community

Yesterday I had 6 occasions during the day to connect with
people who make my heart smile. People who love me
just as I am. People who are members of my community.
When I went to bed last night, I reveled in the joy and
love that had filled me the whole day, and I fell asleep
thinking about the importance of being with people who
make us feel whole and loved; the very positive
consequences of spending time with the people who are
part of our community.

Webster defines community as
1. All persons living in a particular area
2. A group having religion or interests in common
3. Joint sharing

The notion of developing and having one’s own personal
community (vs. a geographic, religious, socioeconomic,
family or political one) is becoming more and more
common as the concept of an extended family disappears
in our culture.

People with similar interests, ways of relating and
communication styles come together, stay together and
eventually bond together, sometimes much more closely
than in a traditional family.

There are different levels of community:
1. Network.
These are the people we call to clean our teeth or
wash the carpet or refer business to. We know them, and
there is definitely a relationship. It is usually more
professional than personal. And sometimes members of
our network become part of our Personal Community.
2. Personal Community
These are the people we seek out for enjoyment,
for intellectual and spiritual development, for
entertainment. They are your friends, with a small ‘f’.
Sometimes our relationship with them is around a very
specific activity. I have several members of my Personal
Community who are climbing buddies. That is the core of
our relationship. You may have a tennis buddy or Book
Club buddies or hiking buddies or a church friend who are
part of your Personal Community. And sometimes
members of our Personal Community grow into our
Circle of 10.
3. Circle of Ten
These are the people who know us inside and out,
warts and all. Who are committed to us for the long run.
Who will be there in a minute if trouble hits. They are
your Friends. It’s important to get the distinction between
the friends who are part of your Personal Community and
the Friends who make up your Circle of 10. That capital F
is a symbol of a very deep connection. It is vital for each of
us to have between 8 and 12 people who are totally on our
team. They are connected with us spiritually, emotionally,
intellectually, and we know we can count on them. They
are the ones who are always there. We may not talk with
them or see them daily, and they are always there. This is
not a static group. It evolves as we do. These people are
our Friends.

4. Family
Our family is a distinct group which flows through
all three of the others. Most of us have family members
who fall in to each of the other 3 groups. Sometimes all of
our family members belong in the network category. The
very fortunate of us have the majority of their family in
their Personal Community and some in the Circle of 10.
My sister and my niece are each members of my
Circle of 10. We share a close, honest, loving, honoring
bond that energizes me in wonderful ways.

Without a community, we face the world alone, and it
feels overwhelming. Without a community we tend to
harden our hearts and barrel head on through life
without taking the time to breathe in the beauty of it. Our
community decorates our life and gives it richness and

Too many people have developed a strong network and
have little or no Personal Community and no Circle of 10.
Our Circle of 10 is what grows us, inside. It supports us,
challenges us, laughs with us, holds us when we are sad
and loves us unconditionally. Being with the people who
are members of our Circle of 10 fills us up energetically;
gives us strength and courage to create the life we dream of.

You do not have to live your life feeling alone. Create a
strong community, and you have a whole team with you
as you journey into the life your REALLY want.

3. Coaching: Design Your Own Community

Creating a network is the easiest step. Make a list of the
100 professionals and acquaintances who provide the
expertise you want in your life. Break the list into
categories which might include:

Business — running a business, managing a career,
finding work that you enjoy all come easier when you
have experts and models to guide and inspire you.

Money and Legal — The only thing in the way of your
financial independence is great advice and the willingness
to apply it.

Personal and Health — Our bodies, minds and spirits
can benefit from these experts.

Personal Services — These are the services that make
our lives easier.

Maintenance — We all need “odd job” people from
time to time. Having a list in advance takes the effort out
of the process.

The first step in designing a stronger Personal
Community is to upgrade who you currently associate
with. Eliminate the people in your life who drain your
energy rather than feed it. This is best done with the
support of a Coach or close friend who can assist you in
taking an honest look at your relationships. In order to
attract people who respect, honor, energize and love you,
it is necessary to create space for them. It’s time to let go of
those relationships that make you sigh rather than smile.

The next step is to design what your community looks
and feels like. A Personal Community is often comprised
of several sub-Communities. We can be a member of both
a Book Club and a softball team. What is the focus of a
community of which you wish to be a part? What’s the
purpose of it. How will it add to your life?

Who gets to play in your community? Write down the
type of people you want to play with. What are the
qualities someone must have to be a part of your
community? Who is already a member of your

Now you know what you want your community to look
like and feel like. Go out and create it. Have lunch with
the woman on your tennis team you’ve always wanted to
know better. Call up that friend of a friend who has always
intrigued you and invite them to go for a walk. Reach out.
Stretch yourself. Communities are created by invitation.

Whose community would you like to be a part of? Seek
them out, get to know them, invite them into your

Your Circle of 10 will evolve naturally out of your
Personal Community. This will not happen overnight,
and it’s likely that you already have people in your life
who are part of your Circle of 10. Who are they? How can
you let them know how important they are in your life.

Take the action to design the community of your choice.
Life becomes easier, more enjoyable, more successful and
much more loving. You will be energized and whole.

Create the community of your own design and enrich the
quality of your life.

A Friend is someone who knows the song in your heart
and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the
Author Unknown

I’ll lean on you and you lean on me and we’ll be okay.
Dave Matthews Band

We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day
for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.
Virginia Satir

Many things are lost for want of asking.
English Proverb

Everyone needs recognition for his accomplishments, but
few people make the need known quite as clearly as the
little boy who said to his father: “Let’s play darts. I’ll throw
and you say, ‘Wonderful!'”
The Best of Bits & Pieces
5. Humor: Include Your Pets in Your Community

Pets are a vital part of our Personal Community. No
other pet or person will love you as unconditionally as a
puppy. And unconditional love does not come without
challenges. Enjoy the following which came to me from
Margaret Knabb on my FiftySomethingWomen email list.
Thanks Margaret!

How to Take a Picture of Your New Puppy

1. Remove film from box and load camera.
2. Remove film box from puppy’s mouth and throw in
3. Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds
from muzzle.
4. Choose a suitable background for photo.
5. Mount camera on tripod and focus.
6. Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth.
7. Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera.
8. Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees.
9. Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other
10. Get tissue and clean nose print from lens.
11. Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on
puppy’s nose.
13. Put magazines back on coffee table.
14. Try to get puppy’s attention by squeaking toy over your
15. Replace your glasses and check camera for damage.
16. Jump up in time to grab puppy by scruff of neck and
say, “No, outside! No, outside!”
17. Clean up mess.
18. Sit back in chair with lemonade and resolve to teach
puppy “sit” and “stay” the first thing in the morning.

6. Resources: Websites to Celebrate Your Journey

Visit this site for a delightful journey of beautiful images
and intriguing words.

This site is a great place for women to be nurtured and

Give yourself the gift of Community this week.

Namaste, Margo

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My purpose in publishing Celebrating the Journey is to
provide you with resources, motivation, inspiration and
energy for YOUR journey to creating success and freedom
in all areas of your life. CTJ will use stories from my life
and others’, coaching tips and resources, quotes and
humor to deliver a learning experience that can enhance
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Copyright © 2000, all rights reserved, by Margo

I invite you to share Celebrating the Journey with your
Mailing List, Friends, and Associates. We ask only that the
entire email with Copyright and Credits be included. The
author of this article is Margo Chisholm. You may contact
her at (970)704-9336 or at

“At every moment of our life we have an
opportunity to choose joy.”
Henri J. M. Nouwen

Margo Chisholm
Coach, Speaker, Author, Therapist
Partnering you in having success,
freedom and joy in all areas of your life
970-704-9336 fax 970-704-9346


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