Subject: How To Have the Life You REALLY Want

Welcome to Celebrating the Journey!
Monday, May 22, 2000
Issue #24


1. Welcome Notes and Announcement
2. How To Have The Life You Really Want

1. Welcome Notes and Announcement

Welcome, as always, to all of our new subscribers. The
purpose of CTJ is to provide you with tools for you to
Celebrate Your Journey. I invite you to let me know how
I can better do that. Please email me at
with ideas, suggestions, what you’d like to see.


As the weather continues to warm up here in Colorado,
my schedule is changing, and I am away most weekends.
Because of this, I’m changing the publication date of
Celebrating The Journey to Thursdays. This issue is an
abbreviated version that is an article written by fellow
coach Philip Humbert in his marvelous Ezine, TIP’s: The
Innovative Professional’s Letter. If you like what you see,
you can subscribe to his newsletter by visiting This website is chock
full of Top Ten Lists, articles, humor, quotes and other
goodies that are Resources for YOUR Success. Please visit
and see what Phil has to offer.

2. How to Have the Life You Really Want

Have you ever had the sense that life is not working out
the way you thought it would?

Most of the time, I coach professionals or business people
about growing their businesses, or enjoying the success
they’ve achieved. But recently, I’ve been getting inquiries
about the really big questions of life.

Often they start out, “I’ve got a great life, but….” And then
they describe the “but” in their life and the note ends
with: “I thought my life would be happier [or more
exciting, or more rewarding, or more successful] and I
don’t know what to do.”

I love those requests, because you CAN have the life you
really, really want!

This article is about the 3 keys that will show you the way.

1. First, you must define what you really, REALLY want.

Most people have never defined the life they really want.
They say they want “happiness” or a “great family life”, or
a certain income or lifestyle. But there is a lack of clarity
and lack of focus to the definition. They have a dream,
but not a definition of the life they want.

And that’s an essential distinction! There are two pieces
you have to really “get” about defining the life you want.
Let’s look at them separately for a moment.

The first is be very specific. “Happiness” is a sensation, an
emotion, even an experience, but it is not a goal. The
same can be said of “success” or “peace of mind” or
“personal fulfillment”.

To have the life you want, you must describe it in detail.
And that involves hard choices, and it takes courage. Do
you want more money, or a less stressful job? Climbing
the competitive ladder may take you away from loved
ones, or require other sacrifices. What is it you really,
really want?

And second, it’s critical to distinguish between a lifestyle,
and the life you really want. A new car, lots of money, a
big house and lavish vacations are nice, but most people
want those things because they MEAN something. They
expect that the money will make them feel a certain way.
What happens if you get the money, but still don’t feel
“successful”? Then what?

The first step in having the life you really want is to
define what’s most important to you. What brings you
joy or fulfillment? What fires the passion, the challenge
and the satisfaction in your life? How do you measure

On your deathbed, what (exactly) will let you say, “I did it
right, I had a great life!”

2. The second step is to find the smallest steps that will
take you toward your goal.

Why the “smallest steps”? Because people always look for
the big steps, the huge, dramatic life-changing solutions
that rarely work, and that we’re afraid to take anyway.

Once you’ve defined the life you really want, take a few
minutes to create two important lists:

— Find the 10 smallest steps that will move you slightly
toward the life you want, and write them down. You
want easy, “anybody could do these” steps! Write down 10
specific steps that are small enough that you can begin
them immediately!

— Find 10 things that frustrate you and “prove” you are
not yet living the life you want. Again, look for the small,
daily distractions that bug you on a regular basis. For now,
just write them down. You’ll eliminate them when you
decide the time is right.

3. The third step is: Take ACTION! (You knew that was

Of course you have to take action! In the end, nothing
changes until you take action and start changing your life.
If you want more friends, take action! If you want more
money, ask for a raise, make more sales, invest more
effectively…take action! If you want a healthier, happier
family, schedule a picnic, go to a movie, stay home and
talk to each other!

Highly successful people are not the rich, the famous, or
the lucky. Successful people, in my book, are people who
define what they really want, and take simple, specific
steps to get it. They take action! Very few of us will have
a miraculous, life-changing event. For most of us, life
changes in small steps that we take every day. To have
and live the life you really, really, REALLY want, define it,
and find the baby steps that take you in that direction.
And then, start walking!

Again, Phil Humbert is the source of this article, and you
can subscribe to his Tip’s newsletter at Check it out!
4. Quotes of the Week

“Millions long for immortality who do not know what to
do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.”
— Susan Ertz

“You never find yourself until you face the truth.”
— Pearl Bailey

“Your children need your presence more than your
— Jesse Jackson”

“It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you
really are.”
— e. e. cummings


Give yourself the gift of living the life you REALLY want
this week.

Namaste, Margo

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My purpose in publishing Celebrating the Journey is to
provide you with resources, motivation, inspiration and
energy for YOUR journey to creating success and freedom
in all areas of your life. CTJ will use stories from my life
and others’, coaching tips and resources, quotes and
humor to deliver a learning experience that can enhance
your life. I am always looking for comments, ideas and
ways to improve CTJ. I welcome your emails at

Copyright © 2000, all rights reserved, by Margo

I invite you to share Celebrating the Journey with your
Mailing List, Friends, and Associates. We ask only that
the entire email with Copyright and Credits be included.
The author of this article is Margo Chisholm. You may
contact her at (970)704-9336 or at

“At every moment of our life we have an
opportunity to choose joy.”
Henri J. M. Nouwen

Margo Chisholm
Coach, Speaker, Author, Therapist
Partnering you in having success,
freedom and joy in all areas of your life
970-704-9336 fax 970-704-9346


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