Subject: Keepable Resolutions
Welcome to Celebrating the Journey!
Monday, January 15, 2001
TABLE OF CONTENTS
1. Welcome Notes
2. The First Step To Keepable Resolutions
3. Coaching: Is it A Gleam or Is It A Goal?
5. Humor: Science Test Answers
6. Reading for the Journey
7. FREE Teleclasses!
8. Celebrating Out Loud!
1. Welcome Notes
It’s true winter once again in the mountains of Colorado. It is
snowing as I write this, and all of us in ski country are thankful
to the Snow Gods who are sprinkling us with the magical white
Many of my friends and co-workers have celebrated birthdays in
the last couple of weeks. Watching their joy in receiving
something as simple as a birthday card or phone call reminds me
how easy it is to take our own joy and pay it forward. Only a bit
of time and creativity on the part of the giver is multiplied
greatly in the joy it creates for the receiver.
I was taught a good long time ago to ask for what I want. That
single lesson has changed my life as much as anything else I
have learned. We humans waste a great deal of time expecting
others to know what we want and then being disappointed and
angry when we don’t get it.
I turn 53 on Thursday, January 18. I love my birthdays and
celebrate them for several days before and several after. 53,
however, is one of those kind of in between birthdays with little
significance. It’s easy to just let it slip by. I don’t want to do
Modeling a behavior is a very effective way to teach it. So in the
interest of teaching a valuable lesson, I’m asking you to help me
celebrate my birthday! Send an email or ecard or sing happy
birthday in the shower on Thursday. I’d like to know I’m in the
thoughts of some of you for whom Celebrating the Journey has
been an inspiration. Celebrate with me, share your joy with me,
share your birthdays with me!
I am using that request as a way to introduce a new section in
Celebrating the Journey. The Celebrate Out Loud section. It is a
place for you to celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, wins,
victories, ah-ha’s, anything positive that’s going on in your life.
Send an email describing your celebration to
mailto:email@example.com, and I will share as many
as I can in the next issue of CTJ. This is an opportunity for us to
share in each others’ celebrations. Let us know what is
happening in your life!
2. Creating Keepable Resolutions
It’s two weeks into the New Year. How are you doing with your
There are numerous studies which indicate that less than half of
us will be actively honoring our resolutions by the end of the
Why not? And what can you do to avoid being one of those
The most common cause of “failed” New Years Resolutions is
choosing a resolution that is essentially a “should”. People too
often resolve to make a change that they think they should
make or that someone else wants them to make or that society
tells them to make.
Their intentions are strong about making the change. However,
good intentions, by themselves, cannot support long lasting
change. Rarely do these kinds of resolutions last more than a few
An article written by Drs. David and Rebecca Grudermeyer of
Willingness Works (http://www.willingness.com/article3.html)
calls this phase of the resolution process the GLEAM phase. They
write the following about GLEAMS:
“GLEAMS: Wanting to want. Wanting the end (the goal)
but not the means (what you’ll have to do to achieve the
goal). … The trap here is not being in ‘gleams’ (this is
starting place of all dreams!). It’s thinking you’re
somewhere else. So, if you’re not yet ready to shift from
gleams to commitment, just accept this for now and decide
which changes you are presently ready to commit to. Or,
commit to identifying what blocks you from making a
commitment to change in this way, and deal with those
blocks instead of committing to the goal itself yet.”
The first step to creating a keepable resolution is getting
completely honest about your commitment level. Are you
committed to taking the actions necessary to reach your goal?
Are you willing to take each step to reach your destination or do
you just want to be there? Wanting to be there will not make it
3. Coaching: Is It A Gleam or Is It A Goal?
Having goals/resolutions/dreams is a vitally important
component of creating the life we really want. So are the gleams
from which they grow. All our goals begin as gleams. Neither is
more important than the other.
Trying to make a gleam a true goal, however, is a setup for
failure. Recognizing whether you are in the gleam phase or the
goal phase will prevent the feelings of guilt, shame, and
inadequacy that surround a failed resolution or unreached goal.
Ask yourself the following questions:
Do you dread the days between now and reaching your goal
or is there some excitement about the process?
Do YOU want to make this change or are you doing it for
What are you afraid of about declaring this goal?
Does this goal draw you toward it or do you feel like
someone or something is pushing you from behind?
Can you find some fun in the process of going for this goal
or does it all feel like drudgery?
When you are committed to a goal or a resolution, there is a
positive energy around the process. You feel excitement rather
than just, “Yuck!” You are drawn to the routine rather than
repulsed by it. Your stomach kind of tickles rather than just
wanting to throw up.
Does commitment make reaching your goal, sticking with your
resolution easy? No. The process requires discipline, support,
and desire. Some days it will be easy; some days it will be
challenging. A gleam only survives the easy days. A goal that is
based on commitment and what is truly important to you will
have a much better chance in the challenging times.
And remember: resolutions do not need to be made only at the
beginning of the year. Goals can be set any time. You can change
the resolution you made on New Years Eve or create a whole
new one. Today.
If you are not taking actions that move you toward your goal on
a daily basis, ask yourself the all important question:
Is it a goal or is it a gleam?
Your answer can mean the difference between success and
For support, motivation and assistance in staying on the path to
your dreams and goals and resolutions, check out
http://www.hiaspire.com/newyear/index.htm. The site is a
wealth of resources specifically designed to support you in
keeping your New Years Resolutions.
The hand will not reach for what the heart does not long for.
When you recover or discover something that nourishes your
soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room
for it in your life.”
Jean Bolen, M.D.
I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to
Your belief determines your action and your action determines
your results, but first you have to believe.
Mark Victor Hansen
5. Humor: Science Test Answers
Lime is a green-tasting rock.
Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils while others
preferred to be oil.
Genetics explain why you look like your father and if you don’t
why you should.
Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them
know we know they’re there.
Some oxygen molecules help fires burn while others help make
water, so sometimes it’s brother against brother.
We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation.
Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put
the top on.
To most people solutions mean finding the answers. But to
chemists solutions are things that are still all mixed up.
In looking at a drop of water under a microscope, we find there
are twice as many H’s as O’s.
Clouds are high flying fogs.
I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how
to do it, and that is the important thing.
Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough to
be called a drop, it does.
Humidity is the experience of looking for air and finding water.
Rain is saved up in cloud banks.
In some rocks you can find the fossil footprints of fishes.
A hurricane is a breeze of a bigly size.
A monsoon is a French gentleman.
Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their
It is so hot in some places that the people there have to live in
The wind is like the air, only pushier.
6. Reading for the Journey
A Man’s Journey to Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban
Breathnach and Friends, edited by Michael Segell.
I am a huge fan of the original Simple Abundance, and this new
addition to the Simple Abundance family is a great one, without
what some have called the gimmickry of the original book. This
is a collection of 55 to-the-point essays written by a diverse group
of men ranging from a Jungian analyst to a Microsoft
The topics are equally as varied, covering subjects ranging from a
fascination with Captain Nemo’s submarine to a homeless
man’s retrieval of his life from the brink of oblivion. Publishers
Weekly called this “a superb collection.” I agree.
Whether you are a man on the journey of being the best you can
be or a woman who wants to understand the men in her life,
this book will enlighten you, move you, perhaps shock you, and
certainly make you laugh. I believe this is a must read for all of
us who wish to better understand who we are as human beings.
It’s available at the discounted price of $17.60 by clicking here:
Life Strategies: Doing What Works, Doing What Matters by
Philip C. McGraw.
By training McGraw is a psychologist; he calls himself a
strategist; he is really a coach. Phil McGraw’s straightforward,
tell-it-like-it-is approach to problems is refreshing and effective.
There are those who find him tactless; I experience him as direct.
There are some who say he doesn’t understand the complexities
of their problems; I experience his methods as practical, simple
McGraw found doing “traditional” therapy very frustrating. He
has a tremendous gift for rapidly getting through the wrappings
and scenery that cover up the core of a client’s difficulties. And
an equal gift for communicating solutions in a no-nonsense
manner that is still “hearable.”
Yes, his strategies are simple. Yes, his style is direct. That makes
them easy to understand and implement. His mission is to raise
people out of their victimhood and give them the tools to take
control of their own lives. This book gives us those tools in a
readable and practical format.
Ready to claim your life at a deeper level? This book will help!
Buy it here for only $9.56:
Wear Clean Underwear: Business Wisdom from Mom by
This book has been recommended to me by several CTJ readers
and others. And I love the title. I haven’t yet read it, and I have
ordered it. Some of the words that prompted me to do that
>From the book itself:
“Virtually everyone’s mother at one time or another told
them to ‘Clean your plate, children are starving in China’ or
whatever country happened to be in the news. Think about all
the lessons in that one little line: don’t waste your resources,
understand that you are more fortunate than others, empathize
with those who have less.”
>From Amazon.com synopsis:
“Offering a refreshing combination of serious insights with
heartwarming stories indispensable to anyone in business but
with universal appeal, Abrams interprets timeless maternal
wisdom for the needs of the current business climate.”
>From an amazon.com reader review:
“This is wisdom like no other. Wear Clean Underwear is
the best business book I have read. Rich with examples from real
life and big business, this book is all you’ll ever need for genuine
business success. Wear Clean Underwear is about integrity and
character, and you can bet you’ll learn about, cheer, and affirm
both as you walk through the pages of this book. You will find it
warm, inspiring and full of business “smarts.”
Whether you are starting a business, involved in the corporate
world, run your own practice or are simply in the business of
living life, this book has humorous and wise stories that will
grow that business. It’s available for $10.36 by clicking here:
7. FREE Teleclasses
Beginning in February, Margo Chisholm will be offering a series
of FREE Teleclasses designed to help you identify and eliminate
the obstacles that are in the way of having the life you dream of.
Each 3-week teleclass will consist of three one-hour bridge calls
spaced one week apart and will be open to all callers on a first-
come-first-serve basis. Each class will offer a lot of information,
thought-provoking questions, and lots of dialogue and wisdom
The first time you participate in a Teleclass, you will be entitled
to a free follow-up coaching session with Margo. Work one-on-
one with her to solidify and expand the shifts that have occurred
during the teleclass!
Here’s the curriculum for the next three months. These are
FREE Teleclasses. The only cost to you is the phone call.
February: Free Your Life: Become A Toleration Free Zone
We humans put up with a lot of stuff in our life. Most of it
just isn’t necessary. Putting up with tolerations wastes our time
and energy, keeps us stuck, causes us grief and generally gets in
the way of having what we really want in our lives. This class is
about getting rid of what’s bugging you! Topics will include:
What is a toleration?
Why do tolerations drain my energy?
Benefits of being Toleration Free.
How do I identify my tolerations?
Now that I know what they are, what do I do about them?
(You will eliminate at least 5 tolerations during
Maintaining a toleration free zone
March: Boundaries: Be Treated the Way You Want To Be
Boundaries are an imaginary line of protection that you
draw around yourself. If they’re too narrow or even non-
existent, we don’t feel safe in the world, and it is impossible to
grow. If they’re too harsh or wide, we are not able to have
relationships at all, and it is almost impossible to grow. This
teleclass teaches what a healthy boundary looks like and how to
create them. Topics will include:
Boundaries don’t have to be serious!
Examples of weak boundaries
What happens when your boundaries are weak
The benefits of having strong boundaries
How to set a boundary
Practice with setting a boundary
April: Standards: Raise Yours To Attract High Quality People
March’s Teleclass on Boundaries deals with how others treat us.
This month we will talk about the behavior and actions to
which you hold yourself.
What are high personal standards?
Benefits of having high personal standards.
What happens when one’s standards are too low?
Who do you admire and why?
Aligning your standards with your values.
Choose and live a new standard.
The logistics of the Teleclasses are being finalized this week.
Read Celebrating the Journey next Monday to learn more about
this great opportunity to experience the wisdom, experience and
coaching of Margo Chisholm.
For further information send an email to
8. Celebrating Out Loud
This is a new section for Celebrating the Journey. It is an
opportunity for you to celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, wins,
victories, ah-ha’s, shifts, anything positive that’s going on in
I’ll include your email address with your celebration unless you
request otherwise. My intention is to create a network of
celebration that will spread far and wide.
Know someone who’s celebrating a great occasion? What better
gift than to forward them a copy of Celebrating the Journey with
a celebratory wish in it. Let’s spread the joy!
Margo Chisholm turns 53 on Thursday, January 18!
Carlos Ronay brings incredible wisdom and youth to his 60th
birthday today, January 15.
Gus Compson, who’s been a great friend for almost 40 years,
celebrates his birthday today, as well.
Katie Names becomes the mom of a 10-week-old Great Dane
puppy Wednesday, January 17.
To share your celebration, send an email with the details to
mailto: firstname.lastname@example.org. I will include as many as
I can in each issue of CTJ. This is an opportunity for us to share
in each others’ celebrations. Let us know what great stuff is
happening in your life and that of your friends!
Give yourself the gift of clarity this week.
If you received this copy of Celebrating the Journey from
a friend and would like to subscribe, visit
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My purpose in publishing Celebrating the Journey is to
provide you with resources, motivation, inspiration and
energy for YOUR journey of creating success and freedom
in all areas of your life. CTJ will use stories from my life
and others, coaching tips and resources, quotes and
humor to deliver a learning experience that can enhance
your life. I am always looking for comments, ideas and
ways to improve CTJ. I welcome your e-mails at
Copyright © 2001, all rights reserved, by Margo
I invite you to share Celebrating the Journey with your
mailing list, friends, and associates. We ask only that the
entire e-mail with copyright and credits be included. The
author of this article is Margo Chisholm. You may contact
her at (970) 704-9336 or at mailto:email@example.com.
“At every moment of our life we have an
opportunity to choose joy.”
Henri J. M. Nouwen
Coach, Speaker, Author, Therapist
Partnering you in having success,
freedom and joy in all areas of your life
970-704-9336 fax 970-704-9346
Celebrating The Journey is a free, weekly
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quotes, humor and coaching to support you
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