Celebrating The Journey: Step One: Identify Your Personal Values

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Welcome to Celebrating the Journey!
Friday, January 17, 2003
Issue #103

TABLE OF CONTENTS

1.	Welcome Notes
2.	Step One:  Values:  What Are They...
3.	Coaching:  And How Do I Get 'Em?
4.	Quotes for the Journey
5.	Celebrating Out Loud!
6.	Reading for the Journey:  Get Your Needs Met
7.	Resources for the Journey:  Ask The Experts!
8.	Humor:  Memorable Management Memos
		
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1.  Welcome Notes

I'm writing this early Thursday evening, and my office
window opens to a scene of handsome homes partly shaded
by white-barked plum and green-needled pine trees, all
bathed in the golden glow of the warm afternoon sun, with
the near-full moon smiling down on it all. I can hear the surf
through my open window. I value nature highly, and it is a
gift to live that value in this way.

Welcome to our new subscribers! We're delighted to have
you as a part of our Celebrating the Journey family! We
invite you to share CTJ with your friends and family,
coworkers and associates. The celebration expands with each
added subscriber. If you like what you read, just hit your
Forward key. Thanks!

You'll note that beginning with this issue, we are now
formatting links to be AOL user friendly. They look a bit
different, and we hope that all our AOL users will find the
change helpful. Please let us know if you experience any

difficulties with the links.

This issue is chock full of great stuff! The Reading and
Resources sections both introduce especially valuable tools
which I highly recommend. Please take a look at them.

Thank you to all who sent in their themes for 2003. (Read the themes 
issue at

Click for Themes Issue ).

My favorites include:

     Be patient and enjoy the process of life
     My year of joy
     Getting the most out of each day.
     Being in service to myself and others
     The year of the partner
     Small changes matter

If you missed the article outlining the Seven Steps to
Successful Goal Setting which is the foundation for this issue
and the next 6, you can read it on my website at
CTJ Archives

In this week of Martin Luther King's birthday, may we all
hold the vision of peace for our country and our planet.

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2.  Values: What Are They...

I am a natural adventurer. Before I could walk, I learned that
if I piled all my toys in one corner of the playpen, I could tip
it over. And then I was free, and off I'd go, crawling as fast
as I could manage to explore the world around me. At age
40 I began climbing mountains. At age 55 (tomorrow!) I am
still climbing mountains and backpacking solo and running
rivers with huge amounts of passion and hard work and
very little effort. Adventuring is a strong value of mine!

It is also my natural state to support, encourage and inspire
others. Even when I was in grade school, other kids came to
me for advice, with questions, just to be heard because I
seemed to know what to say and what to not say.

In college, someone (to this day I don't know who) made a
lovely wood-burned sign for my door that said "Mother
Miggie" (Miggie was my nickname at the time) because I
was where other students came with problems, with
dilemmas, with tears, with celebrations. Because I seemed to
know what to say. Or not say!

And here I am almost 40 years later, a coach and a mentor.
The desire to make a difference in people's lives is deeply
ingrained in me.

Get the idea? I don't make myself climb mountains or listen
to folks or write these newsletters, I just do it. Because I love
it and it brings fulfillment to my life.

Values are that part of us that IS us. They are what we are
naturally inclined to do, drawn to do, enthusiastic about,
eager for. Without efforting!  Values are what are important
to us at a deep, heart and soul level.

That's what values are. Here's what they're not:

Values are not Needs. Needs are something you must have
in order to be your best. Things like money, food, shelter,
information.  Things like self esteem, validation, to be
noticed. Needs can easily be mistaken for values. When you
get a need met, you will most likely feel satisfied; when you
live your values, you feel deeply fulfilled.

It's also true then when you get your needs met, you'll have
more time to live your values. And that's a whole other
topic! There's a great resource for learning more about
Needs and how to get them met in the Reading for the
Journey section below.

Values are not Wants. Wants are what you enjoy having and
may please you. Values are you and will fulfill you.

Values are not Shoulds. Shoulds are what other folks think
you should be or do or have. Shoulds require effort and lead
to frustration. Values are effortless and create fulfillment.

Getting what you want may make you happy. Getting your
needs met may satisfy you. Living a value-based life brings
fulfillment, that inner feeling that goes way beyond
happiness and satisfaction, into the feeling of being totally
you.

You know that question that's been floating around in your
head and heart, maybe for years? The Who Am I and
What's the Point question? Identify your values and you'll
have your answer.

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3.  Coaching:  And How Do I Get 'Em.

You've already got 'em. Now it's just about identifying what
they are. And now you have the information to do that.

Make a list of 20 values that NATURALLY appeal to you.

They are the answers to the following kinds of questions.

         What matters the most to you?
         What are you naturally inclined toward?
         What belief do you most fiercely defend?
         What pulls you forward, without efforting?
         What makes you laugh out loud when you think about
it?
         What would you spend your time on if you had all the
money, time, and resources you ever wanted and needed?

If you'd like some ideas, I have posted a list of Values on my
website at
Values List
for some values you may not even have thought of!

Now, read your list and toss out the wants and needs and
shoulds.

         If you need it to be happy, it's a Need, not a Value.
         If you're doing it to get something else, it's not a Value.
         If you want it and it won't come without effort, it's most
             likely a Should, not a Value.
         If you think you want it and the idea of it makes you
             say, "Yuck!" it's definitely a Should, not a Value.
         If you did it when you were 10 years old, it's probably a
             Value.
         If it's really exciting and also scary, it's most likely a
             Value.
         If the thought and vision of it causes your whole body
             to settle into itself, it's definitely a Value.

Whittle or expand your list in this way until it numbers
somewhere between 5 and 10.

This is the first step to creating a set of goals that will draw
you forward rather than shoving you from behind. And it's
the foundation from which to create your Life Vision. More
about that in next week's CTJ!

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4.  Quotes

The choice between love and fear is made every moment in
our hearts and minds. That is where the peace process
begins. Without peace within, peace in the world is an empty
wish. Like love, peace is extended. It cannot be brought
from the world to the heart. It must be brought from each
heart to another, and thus to all mankind.
     Paul Ferrini

The problem is not that we too rarely fulfill our desires, but
that we so often do, and are still left wanting.
         Joel Goldsmith

Life’s about being happy and fulfilled now, not ten years
from now. There are no guarantees, so I’m going to live the
best I can today.
         Rob Hall

To be nobody-but-yourself --
in a world which is doing its best,
night and day,
to make you everybody else --
means to fight the hardest battle
which any human being can fight;
and never stop fighting.
     e.e. cummings

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5.  Celebrating Out Loud

The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more
there is in life to celebrate.
         Oprah Winfrey

January 10: Karla celebrated her 59th birthday with hugs
from the 15 toddlers she works with and lots of love,
e-mails, and phone calls from her family and friends. You
can wish her Happy Birthday at mailto:J1W2ROB@aol.com.

Annette celebrates the heartwarmingly joyous antics of her
new kitten and how they just keep her laughing out loud.
Yup, kittens'll do that!

Share your celebrations with our CTJ family. Small or huge,
minor or major, traditional or uniquely yours. We all need
celebration in our lives. Sharing yours helps those who can't
see the celebration in their lives today. Share the wealth!
Send your celebrations to
mailto:Celebrations@tothesummit.com

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6.  Reading for the Journey

The Main Thing: Seeing How Soft Needs are Keeping You
Trapped by Steve Straus

Steve Straus is a Master Certified Coach who does
extraordinary work with his clients. I know because I was
one of them for a number of years. Perhaps the single most
important piece of work we did was identifying my unmet
needs and getting them met.

Unmet needs create frustration and disappointment. They're
not a "bad" thing, and we all have them. And they do get in
the way of having the life we REALLY want. Every single
one of us can benefit from identifying and learning how to
meet our unmet needs.

For much of my life I had a huge need to feel special. I went
out of my way to create situations where I felt special. I
gravitated to people and communities where I could feel
special, whether they really fit into my life plan or not. The
relationships were not at all fulfilling - but I felt special so I
stayed. As long as I needed to feel special, I left virtually no
room in my life for relationships that would were what my
heart wanted.

         Do you talk about your goals with great enthusiasm
             and never seem to make any progress with them?
         Do you think your living from you Values and yet find
             that your life isn't what you want it to be?
         Do you eagerly receive coaching, suggestions, ideas
             about how to do thing differently, and yet nothing
             changes?
         Do you have aha after aha in your thinking, and yet
             your behavior stays the same?

If any of this sounds familiar, Steve's ebook "The Main
Thing: Seeing How Soft Needs are Keeping Your Trapped"
can change your life. Even if you don't "need" it, it will be an
important tool in creating the life you REALLY want. I
strongly recommend you take a look at

The Main Thing

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7.  Resources for the Journey

  A Chance to Talk with Kristie T.!

Ask the Experts:  BIG Profits from Small Biz
With Kristie Tamsevicius

My good friend and fabulous coach, Phil Humbert (the
OTHER Dr. Phil!), has created an Ask the Experts! series of
teleclasses that is an important opportunity to have some
time to spend with one expert each month on various topics.
Phil is connected with some of the most talented and gifted
folks in the business, coaching, and speaking worlds, and he
has a great roster of experts lined up for these calls.

The first teleclass is this Wednesday and will be a wealth of
information for any of you have or want to have your own
small business. Don't miss this! Here's what Phil has to say:

I am DELIGHTED to give you a chance to meet Kristie and
get her expert advice to build your own highly profitable,
easily managed small business!  No matter what kind of
business you own, you'll want to learn from Kristie!  She
is truly an expert at making money, managing a successful
business, and keeping your life balanced!  She's a marketing
phenomenon, has built and sold a web-design business, is
currently the CEO of WebMomz.com, has written three
books and authored dozens of articles, and become a model
for hundreds of small business owners, all while being
'Mom', working from home, and having play time every
day.  I truly admire and respect her expertise, her
organization, and her savvy!  This lady makes money and
laughs all the way to the bank!

To get all the info and to register for this one-time event,
Click Here!

You'll get:
    ***  90 Minutes of LIVE interaction with Kristie
    ***  Four FREE Bonus articles/handouts
    ***  The call will be taped so you can review it anytime!
    ***  The opportunity to connect with a truly SUCCESSFUL
         home-based business owner, ask your questions, and
         learn her systems!

Topics Include:

1.  Organization and Simplicity:  The Key to EVERYTHING!
2.  PR Beats advertising every time:  Press Kits that Work!
3.  Joint Ventures:  Expanded Reach, Minimal Effort
4.  Websites that Work:  Profits from the Internet
5.  Building Trust, Keeping Customers, Making Money

To learn more and register (space is limited!), visit:
Click Today!

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8.  Humor:  Memorable Management Memos

These are actual management memos! Kristie's teleclass can
help prevent this from happening to you!

1.  As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access
the building using individual security cards. pictures will be
taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their
cards in two weeks.
   (Manager, major software company)

2. What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will
encounter.
   (Manager, trucking company)

3.  E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It
should be used only for company business.
   (Manager, company which builds nuclear submarines)

4.  This project is so important, we can't let things that are
more important interfere with it.
   (Advertising manager, major parcel delivery service)

5.  doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule.
No one will believe you solved this problem in one day!
We've been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for
a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them.
   (R&D supervisor, Fortune 100 company)

6.  My boss spent the entire weekend retyping a 25-page
proposal that only needed corrections. She claims the disk I
gave her was damaged and she couldn't edit. it. The disk I
gave her was write-protected.
   (CIO, computer manufacturing company)

7.  Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say.
   (Marketing executive, computer chip manufacturer)

8.  My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for
Monday. When I told my boss, he said she died so that I
would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He
then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said,
"That would be better for me."
   (Shipping executive, company that sells flowers!)

9.  We know that communication is a problem in this
company but we are not going to discuss it with the
employees.
   (Switching supervisor, long distance telephone company))

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Give yourself the gift of living your values this week, and as
always, Celebrate Life!

Namaste, Margo

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Hiring a Life Coach is a great way to be supported in
making this year the best year of your life. Margo has a few
slots open for motivated clients who are committed to
taking the actions to create the life you dream of living. To
schedule a consultation, send an e-mail to
mailto:margo@tothesummit.com. Visit our website at
http://www.tothesummit.com for additional resources
and tools.

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My purpose in publishing Celebrating the Journey is to
provide you with resources, motivation, inspiration and
energy for YOUR journey of creating success and freedom
in all areas of your life. CTJ will use stories from my life
and others, coaching tips and resources, quotes and
humor to deliver a learning experience that can enhance
your life. I am always looking for comments, ideas and
ways to improve CTJ. I welcome your e-mails at
mailto:margo@tothesummit.com.

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Copyright © 2003, all rights reserved, by Margo
Chisholm

I invite you to share Celebrating the Journey with your
mailing list, friends, and associates. We ask only that the
entire e-mail with copyright and credits be included. The
author of this article is Margo Chisholm. You may contact
her at (831) 661-0776 or at mailto:margo@tothesummit.com.

-- 
"Cherish your visions and your dreams, as they are the children of your 
soul, the blueprints of your ultimate achievements."
         Napoleon Hill

Margo Chisholm
The Freedom Coach
Want more freedom in your life?
Visit http://www.tothesummit.com to schedule your free
coaching session. Or call 831-661-0776.

Celebrating The Journey is a free, weekly
email newsletter, full of resources and
quotes, humor and coaching to support you
in having the life you REALLY want. Visit
http://www.tothesummit.com to subscribe.

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